Ripples on the Ocean Surface
by snowwflight
Summary: "But most of all, Shinobu wonders if Giyu has ever been anything other than this unsettling stillness. If there have ever been any waves that might have once stirred this now-cold, deathly silent ocean." Through a series of events, Shinobu ends up learning a bit about the past of her fellow Pillar.
1. Chapter 1

Shinobu sometimes feels like Giyu is too fitting for the title of Water Pillar. It's from the way his blade unfalteringly slices through his enemies to the way his cool, stoic gaze never wavers even in the midst of battle. He has the swiftness of a river and the calm of a lake.

But most of all, he reminds her of an ocean, vast and powerful and unfaltering—but an eerily still one. An ocean that doesn't hesitate to tear apart and drown its enemies yet remains completely still otherwise. No tides crash against its shore, no waves stir the waters, and not even ripples shake its surface.

Because it's also the way everything about him remains distant and quiet even when he's amongst his fellow Pillars. The way he always stands to the side, hand loosely resting on his sword handle as he seemingly stares at something far, far in the horizon. The way he never speaks unless he's spoken to, and even when that happens, the way the most that he ever offers are a few brusque words.

Sometimes, Shinobu wonders if Giyu's also someone who ended up locking away their true selves for a facade. If he's also desperately clinging onto a mask, wearing it to block off painful memories that threaten to break through.

But most of all, she wonders if he has ever been anything other than this unsettling stillness. If there have ever been any waves that might have once stirred this now-cold, deathly silent ocean.

**~.~.~.~.~**

The first hints of a ripple flicker across this ocean in a rather unexpected way.

It's during a sudden mission that Shinobu and Giyuu are both assigned to. People—including some fellow demon slayers—were rapidly disappearing in a village to the east. Their job was to investigate and eliminate the demon.

Normally, only one Pillar would be sent for something like this, but this demon was rumored to be incredibly cunning and sneaky. It would be too risky for a Pillar to get caught off-guard by themselves.

And the rumors end up being true. It takes three days of investigation for them to locate the demon. And turns out, it had been masquerading as a human for the past few weeks while eating travelers and guests in secret. It was even successful in concealing its bloodlust and hiding its demonic features to make things even more of a pain.

But like every living creature, once it's backed into a corner, its primitive survival instincts take over. Despite seeming like it relies on mind games, the amount of humans it devoured give it a fearsome strength that lets it transform from what appears to be a human into a ferocious, spitting monster.

Shinobu's breaths form faint clouds in the cold night air as she pauses to readjust her sword grip. A moment later, she darts left to avoid a furious swing of claws from the demon. It crashes into the ground below with a hiss, but then twists back on its feet to lunge at her again.

Sparks fly as a dark blue blade meets its claws. Giyu slightly grunts as he braces against the force of the demon's assault, his shoes slightly digging into the dirt.

Shinobu takes this split-second to give the demon's neck a fast, fierce jab. It recoils, a hand reaching up to clutch the wound on its neck, but not before Giyu can swing his blade in a smooth arc and slice off the arm. The demon lets out a strangled howl and scrambles backwards, its movements wild and frenzied. Its back presses against a tree trunk as blood spurts out of the stump of its arm.

The demon whimpers. "Why are you doing this to me?" The tremble in its voice, the fear on its face—it's almost human. Shinobu can understand why it's managed to deceive so many victims. "I was doing the only thing I could to survive."

Shinobu feels a twinge of what could be pity, but it's easily quelled. Anyone with a Pillar's worth of demon-slaying experience knows that this isn't an uncommon desperate final plea made by demons on the verge of death. And in a heartbeat, Giyu's already in front of it, his arms raised to prepare for the final sword swing.

"Do you really think you're different?" The demon's whimper turns into a bitter snarl. "Don't tell me that _you've _never had someone die for youso you could continue living on with your own pathetic life."

That's when Shinobu sees it.

For a fleeting moment, an emotion flashes across Giyu's face. For a moment, ripples shake the surface of the ever-frozen ocean. She doesn't know what it is—grief or guilt or something else entirely. But what she _can _see is the way the demon's words make him falter for that moment. The way he takes in a short, sharp breath and the way the tip of his blade shakes when it's usually unshakable.

At the same time, the demon lunges forward with outstretched hands in some last-ditch attempt at preventing its impending end. Its gleaming hooked claws scrape Giyu's cheek, but then right after, he brings down his sword in a powerful swing.

The demon's head flies off its shoulders and its body collapses to the ground. In a manner of seconds, all that exists of the demon is now ashes in the wind as its flesh decays into nothingness.

Giyu sheaths his sword and glances to the west. Now that their mission is over, there's no need for him and Shinobu to stick together. He's about to make his way back to the Demon Slaying Corps Headquarters when Shinobu pulls his sleeve.

He turns to face her with a slow blink.

"You're injured," Shinobu says.

Giyu reaches up to touch the wound. It's a single cut centered on his right cheek, slightly shorter than the width of his hand. "It's not serious," he says. And he's right. Normally, she would never bother with such a minor wound.

"But"—she tilts her head with a small smirk, letting a bit of her usual teasing air take over—"think about how bad of an impression you'd make if you returned to headquarters with such an ugly bleeding face."

Giyu looks slightly offended, but he doesn't protest as she reaches into her uniform and pulls out her medical kit.

Despite going through her usual routine of banter, Shinobu feels like treating his wound is for herself just as much as it is for him. That flash of vulnerability from him is just something she can't shake the sight of, and some part of her feels like treating the wound caused by it would help in some way—help with _what, _she doesn't know.

But of course, she doesn't say it out loud. And he doesn't say anything either as she treats him. The only word spoken for the rest of the night is short "Thanks" from Giyu when Shinobu finishes the treatment, and then they part ways.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Shinobu doesn't see Giyu at all for the next two weeks until they get assigned another mission together. Not that he crosses her mind much during this time. There are far more important things for her to worry about as a Pillar.

But when she does see him again, she notices how the cut on his cheek has now become a pale scar on his skin. She didn't expect such a light injury to scar, but Giyu either doesn't mind or hasn't noticed.

Their next mission requires them to cross Sagiri Mountain. It's a two-day trip, and Master Oyakata suggested they seek residence with the former Water Pillar along the way.

Urokodaki Sakonji. Shinobu has only heard rumors of him—mainly about his exceptional skills and that he was one of the greatest Demon Slayers of his time. But more importantly, she knows that he's Giyu's former teacher who taught him Water Breathing.

Shinobu herself can't think of her own past without seeing the crimson splatter of blood or the dying whisper of Kanae's last words. Despite how emotionless he seems, it's a nice thing to hear that someone from Giyu's past is still alive and well.

So that night, when they arrive at Urokodaki's home near the base of Sagiri Mountain, she doesn't expect Giyu to freeze at the sight of his former master.

"I was expecting you." Urokodaki's tengu mask gives his demeanour a permanent grimace, but his voice is warm. "Come inside."

Shinobu doesn't really know what she's expecting from Giyu when he reunites with Urokodaki, but it certainly isn't for him to simply stare without a word. She lets the silence stretch for a few more moments before she decides to break it.

"Thank you, Master Urokodaki." She smiles sweetly. "We're sorry for troubling you so late at night."

"That's no concern. Feel free to come by whenever you must pass the night." Urokodaki turns to Giyu. "Giyu. It's been a long time." His voice is still warm, but this time, Shinobu notices that it also carries hints of sadness. He places a hand on Giyu's shoulder. "Welcome back."

Shinobu sees it on Giyu's face. A ripple of emotions, the most she's ever seen from him at once. It's hard to fully tell what they are, but she can pick out small pieces. Relief. Comfort. A faint spark of happiness, even. But she can also see the other ones weaved in. Sorrow. Regret. A whisper of what could be despair.

"I'm back," Giyu says. His voice has the same flat quality it always has, but this time, there's a shake in it. Shinobu wonders if it's from happiness or something else entirely.

Urokodaki's home is rather modest and there's only one vacant room available, so Shinobu and Giyu share it. Not that she minds in the slightest. She's grateful to even have the luxury of passing the night in a shelter much safer than what she's used to in the middle of missions. She can't afford to have picky standards when it comes to accommodations.

As they prepare for bed, Shinobu says, "Did something happen?"

Giyu pauses. "What?"

"You didn't seem too happy to see your former master."

Shinobu normally isn't so prying. She knows she's being selfish. But something about the way she finally saw more ripples move across the perpetually unmoving ocean makes her needy. It makes her want to reach into the waters and see if there's a reason behind the stillness. If he has a reason, just like she does.

"I amhappy to see him," Giyu says after a few moments. "I just... get reminded of the past."

Shinobu lets out a hum. It's a short answer, but at least it's _something, _and right now, it's more than enough.

At dawn, Urokodaki sends them off with wishes of good luck. Before they depart, Urokodaki gives Giyu a hug. Shinobu sees it again—that flicker of emotions as Giyu freezes before letting out a small breath and relaxing, even raising his arms to lightly return the embrace.

When let go of each other, Urokodaki's left hand drifts up to Giyu's face. Giyu stiffens as his master's fingers brush the scar on his right cheek. "You have a scar here," Urokodaki murmurs.

Shinobu hears a soft, sharp inhale from Giyu, and she has to wonder how great of a significance this carries for these two.

**~.~.~.~.~**

To Demon Slayers, wisteria flowers are a godsend, and that's especially true for Shinobu. The fact that they're lethal to demons has allowed for the creation of her deadly poisons, and for Demon Slayers in general, demon-warding refuge spaces and barricades.

But when Shinobu gets an urgent message that an accident has caused a section of the wisteria barrier on Fujikasane Mountain to burn down, Shinobu supposes that at the end of the day, wisteria flowers are still only flowers—frail, burnable flowers. And that there are always incompetent idiots in the world who are somehow capable of accidentally causing something like that to happen.

The Demon Slayer Corps always have emergency stocks of wisteria trees that they can transport and plant, so repairing the wall isn't a problem. The problem is that nearly all the demons from the Final Selection have escaped. Fortunately, there are no populated villages nearby, but having dozens of demons running amok is certainly not a very ideal situation.

So Shinobu and Giyu get assigned to deal with the region north of the mountain. Their mission is simple: incapacitate and retrieve all the missing demons and kill them if necessary.

As night falls and they make their way to the area, they split up. It's only natural—there are only low-tier demons to hunt down so there's no need for the extra fighting coverage, and it's just much more efficient this way.

Shinobu ducks to the left as a screeching demon throws itself towards her. While it tumbles to the ground, she takes the chance to twist around and jab at its exposed neck. The violent rustling of leaves alerts her to the presence of another demon, moments before it leaps out of a bush.

She swiftly slams her sword into its sheath and twists it, feeling the click from the mechanism inside as it coats the blade with a new layer of poison. This one is something she specifically designed for this mission—a special mixture that dissolves the organs and nerves of demons enough to leave them paralyzed for a while, but not dead.

Before the new demon can reach her, she's already in front of it and gives its body three rapid stabs. It crashes into the dirt, its limbs spasming as the poison begins eating its insides. The first demon is already under the full effects of the poison, blood dripping from its eyes as it lies twitching on the ground.

Shinobu lets out a sigh as she sheaths her sword. That should be the last of them in her area, and the kakushi should soon be arriving and taking care of the rest. She begins making her way back to her and Giyu's agreed meeting spot.

It hasn't been too long since they split up, and knowing Giyu, he's probably already done with his part. Shinobu actually took measures to prevent herself from killing the demons, and as far as she knows, Giyu's plan is likely _decapitate the demons and hope they don't die._

But then a muffled crash echoes in the distance, and the ground slightly trembles. Shinobu blinks. That's a bit strange. It can only be the sound of a demon and it's coming from Giyu's half of the area, but there's no way he's struggling with any of these low-tier entry-level demons. It probably managed to evade Giyu's detection. He _can _be a bit of an airheaded, after all.

But as she begins following the direction of the sound, the noises become clearer. The thud of something crashing against the ground. The crack of wood splintering. The squelch of flesh being sliced through. The sounds of combat.

Shinobu quickens her pace. There's no reason Giyu should be in trouble, but she wants to get there soon. Just in case, _just in case _there's something else going on. Something he can't handle alone.

The sounds are getting louder and clearer, and as Shinobu leaps past the last rows of trees blocking her view, the scene unfurls in front of her.

A huge, writhing mass of flesh lumbers in front of her. It's probably one of the most grotesque demons she's seen—green skin, pulsing veins, and enormous hands wrapped all around its entire fleshy mass of a body.

Giyu is facing it, sword raised and in a battle stance. He looks uninjured, which is relieving. But his haori is falling apart—it's torn at the divide in the middle, and a huge portion of the left side has been ripped off altogether. It's strange for him to have been cornered in a position where his haori would end up getting this damaged in the first place, but there's something else that's bothering her. Shinobu doesn't know if it's the way his eyes are wider or the way his grip on his sword is tighter, but there's something not right about him.

The demon's massive body shakes as it lets out a low, thick chuckle. "It's been so long, but nothing changes. All of you still end up getting eaten by me." It opens a hand, and from it, a jagged piece of cloth with Giyu's yellow-green pattern spiral to the ground.

Giyu is silent and focused when he fights. He doesn't respond to words. He doesn't fall for taunts or baits. He doesn't get angered by insults.

But right now, his breathing is hard and strangled and his hands are trembling. This isn't right. Shinobu has seen the ocean in him has stir a few times, but right now it's a storm, mercilessly shaking and crashing, and this just_ isn't right _because there's so much emotion on his face—so much _pain _on his face—and out of the sheer dread that's building up inside of her, Shinobu lunges forward.

"Tomioka!" she yells.

Giyu stiffens when he sees her. He blinks and some focus returns to his eyes, but that's right when three of the demon's arms fly towards him, huge bulging fingers surround his body, and the deafening, horrible crack of too many things breaking at once fills the air.


	2. Chapter 2

Giyu couldn't defeat a single demon in the Final Selection. It's a fact. And although he's defeated dozens of demons ever since, faced Lower Moons and Upper Moons alike, and was even granted the position of Water Pillar, nothing has ever allowed him to get rid of the doubt that was rooted in his mind.

Maybe he can defeat demons. But is he strong, or are the demons just weak and unlucky? Maybe he's the Water Pillar. But does he really deserve this title?

And when he found out that his assigned mission was to deal with escaped demons from the Final Selection, the part of himself that was still echoing with doubts couldn't help but wonder if he was _really _capable of doing it.

After all, he couldn't defeat a single demon in the Final Selection. Despite how many demons he's slain and how much experience he has, maybe he's still as weak and pathetic as he used to be.

It's stupid. It's irrational.

But right now on the mission, when he's able to slay the escaped demons with ease, it gives him an invaluable sense of relief.

Giyu dashes forward and severs the heads of three demons in one swing, his sword gliding through flesh like a river. They topple to the ground and disintegrate into dust.

He's supposed to killing them only if necessary, but truthfully, it's a bit too much work to spare every single demon he's come across. At the start of the mission, he would weaken the demon so much that it couldn't regenerate properly, and then tie them up for the kakushi to collect. But after doing it to the first dozen demons, it felt a bit excessive, so to save some time and effort, he simply began to kill them.

Giyu sheaths his sword with a small sigh. He isn't sure how many demons he has left to deal with, but there shouldn't be too many.

Then he feels heavy thuds somewhere in the distance. That can only be a demon's doing, so Giyu begins following its source. As the ground begins to shake, the demon becomes visible through the layers of trees in front of him. It's hideously built, with a fleshy green frame that towers almost to the tree branches and dozens of huge arms that coil around its body.

Giyu launches himself at the demon, leaping high to aim for its neck. Several arms fly out to block his sword and he spins in the air, slicing off the arms and dodging a hand that threatens to crush him. He lands in front of the demon as its severed limbs plop to the ground.

"Oh?" the demon says as new arms burst out of its body to replace its missing ones. "A Demon Slayer coming here to feed me so soon? That's nice. I could use a snack, especially after finally getting out of that damned wisteria cage."

Giyu raises his sword and keeps his gaze fixed on the demon's neck. This demon seems particularly talkative, but it doesn't matter. It's common for some confident demons to enjoy taunting and playing with their enemies. Giyu leans his weight on his front foot and feels the tension in his leg, preparing to spring at it once more—

"Your haori..." The demon's eyes narrow. "I recognize that yellow-green pattern."

Everything turns cold.

_No._

There's no way this demon recognizes Giyu's haori.

Because he's never met this demon before and the haori isn't actually his to begin with.

Because then that would mean that this demon...

_No. _Maybe it's not that. It could've been another demon. Maybe this demon just saw him but wasn't the one who—

"I remember now." The demon pauses, before a horribly gleeful smile creeps up its face. "It belonged to that little fox boy I ate from quite a long time ago."

Giyu sees his face. He sees the scar on his cheek, the warmth in his kind smile, the lively spark in his eyes—_No no no no stop it's too much—_

"Was he your friend?" The demon takes lumbering steps forward, its massive weight making heavy thuds on the ground. "He was so pitifully valiant. I remember how he tried to save everyone, but that only caused his death." The demon lets out a sickening giggle into its hands. "But he was delicious, so he didn't die in vain."

Giyu can't feel his hands. He's vaguely aware that his sword is shaking in the air, but he can't steady himself. He can't feel his hands, he can't feel his arms or his legs or anything besides the terrible, cold twist in his stomach.

A pair of arms fly towards Giyu and it takes _everything—_all his years of training, all of the advice he was given, his lifetime's worth of fighting experience—for him to force himself to lurch away from the attack. His haori tightens on his left side as a hand seizes the cloth and before he can do anything, a sharp ripping noise tears through the air.

Giyu stumbles to a stop with a shaky breath. He knows what just happened. He _felt _the fabric tearing, the threads snapping, but he can't bring himself to look down his left side at what he just caused.

The demon laughs, and it's such a euphoric, horrible sound that it makes him want to vomit. "It's been so long, but nothing changes. All of you still end up getting eaten by me." It opens its hand and a piece of yellow-green cloth fall to the ground.

_Be calm. Be unwavering, _he pleads to himself. _You're strong. You're a Pillar. Kill this demon and avenge Sabito._

But it's pointless. Nothing can help when the entire world is spinning and he can't see anything but the yellow-green pattern—_Sabito's pattern—_that's on the ground, ripped and crumpled and dirty and _dead and it's his fault._

If Sabito couldn't kill this demon, how can Giyu?

He isn't strong. He isn't a Pillar.

He's in the Final Selection again, crying and begging Sabito not to leave him. He's in his bed, his nails digging painful bloody gouges into his palm and his heart splintering as he hears what happened during Final Selection. He's in front of Urokodaki's house, trying not to cry—he can't cry, he doesn't deserve to cry when it's _his _fault Sabito is dead and he should have been the one to die instead—

"Tomioka!"

A voice yells his name, and he glimpses a flash of white and black and purple from the corner of his vision. He blinks, and the world fades back into view.

He can hear something rushing towards him, but he doesn't know what it is. A part of himself is urgently telling him to move, to _get away _because something's wrong. Giyu takes in a shaky, ragged breath to steady himself—

Then his body is surrounded on all sides and everything shatters.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Giyu can't breath.

_Calm down, _some part in his mind manages to tell himself. _You're in the Final Selection. You trained for this. Focus on surviving. _But it's hard when there's a horrible pain pulsing from his head and a ringing noise mercilessly echoing in his ears, but most of all, when every inhale is agonizing and _he can't breath— _

"Giyu." Sabito places his hands on Giyu's shoulders, his brows furrowed with concern. Through the harsh ringing in Giyu's head, he can make out the faint sounds of Sabito's words. "Giyu, look at me. Breath."

With a small nod, Giyu takes in shaking gasps of air, trying to steady his breathing. He brings a hand up to his forehead to stop the blood from pouring out. Something shrill echoes in the distance, and it sounds like a scream but Giyu isn't sure because it's muffled and distorted through the noises in his head.

Sabito glances in the direction of the sound, then looks back at Giyu. He opens his mouth to say something but the ringing in Giyu's ears is too much and Sabito's voice is lost in the storm. He can't hear what Sabito's saying, but then Sabito smiles apologetically, and suddenly Giyu doesn't need to hear him to know what he's saying.

_No, please—_

Giyu's being selfish. It's his fault for being so weak, for being someone so pitiful that he needed to be saved by his best friend right at the beginning of the Final Selection instead of helping him. But the echo of the cold, awful emptiness that clung onto him in the weeks following his sister's death still lingers—it's _terrifying_—so he says it anyways.

"Please don't go." His tongue stumbles on the words. Giyu knows that his voice is shaking and fully revealing just how much of a pathetic coward he really is, but nothing matters except _right now while Sabito_'_s still here. _"Don't leave me."

Sabito's kind smile doesn't waver. His mouth moves again, and if Giyu could feed his arm to a demon for the ringing in his head to stop deafening him in that moment, he would. Then Sabito reaches out his hand and gives Giyu's hand a quick, firm squeeze before turning around and disappearing into the forest.

Blood is everywhere. Its musty odour is clings to the air and chokes Giyu every time he inhales. He can't breath again. There's a haori on the ground. It's dark red, soaked in blood, but its yellow-green pattern is still visible. Giyu picks it up with trembling fingers.

Sabito is gone.

_ And it's your fault._

A strangled sob comes out of Giyu's throat, and it sounds so, so disgustingly pathetic that he wants to throw up—_Stop crying it's your fault he's dead you don't deserve to mourn for him when you're so weak—_

_Why didn't you just die instead?_

"Tomioka, stay with me."

A voice jerks Giyu awake. The blood washes away as he opens his eyes to a mix of dark blue and black, dotted by white. A night sky. There's something hard against his back and head. It's cold. He must be lying down right now. The muffled rustling of leaves and wind fades in around him. He lifts his head to see what's happening—

_The pain. _

The moment he tries to move, an explosion of sharp, throbbing agony shoots up his body from everywhere at once.

"Don't move."

Again. The voice. It's coming from beside him and he _knows _who it is but everything hurts and nothing makes sense right now. Frustration swells up inside him and he tries to open his mouth.

"Tomioka, _please _don't move." The voice is breathy and strained with what sounds like worry. But it's also pleasantly light and silky and Giyu feels like a laugh from this voice would sound beautiful. "I know I asked you to stay with me, but... I thought you were about to die."

He almost died? That would explain the pain.

Giyu wants to look around and see what's happening, but there's something black edging his vision and something heavy that's dragging his eyes close. He doesn't want to fall back into unconsciousness, but the pain is fading away as he lets himself get dragged deeper in, and it's hard to resist.

"Yes, you should rest now. I'm just glad that you're alive."

_You are? _is the last thing he thinks before he completely sinks into the darkness.

* * *

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**A/N:**

If this feels very inconclusive and unsatisfying DON'T WORRY THERE'S GOING TO BE MORE!

Thanks for reading though! I'm still hesitant about this fanfic because this structure and pacing of this story is SO different than what I'm used to, especially with this chapter. But I'm going to do my best anyways for the sake of Giyushino and Sabito and everyone who enjoyed it! Thank you for the support ;-;


	3. Chapter 3

In an instant, Shinobu's high in the air, diving at the demon's neck. It turns around to face her just as she gives it a fierce stab into its eye. She wrenches her blade out with a vicious twist for good measure before kicking off the demon's face and landing lightly on the ground.

"That's not going to work, little lady," the demon sneers. "You can't expect such a weak attack to—"

Her poison does quick work. Before it can finish its sentence, its eyeball has already melted away into a clump of blood and a dark patch of toxins is spreading across the rest of its face. But the demon isn't her concern right now.

_Giyu. _

The huge green hands surrounding him have loosened up and Shinobu pries the bulging fingers open with her sword. He collapses downwards, and she stops his fall with her body, straining against his weight.

"Tomioka?"

No response. He's limp and fully slumping against her, and Shinobu's not surprised. No matter how much training he's gone through, an injury like that can be dangerous to any human.

_Dangerous, or fatal?_

Shinobu's blood turns cold at that thought, and she takes a deep breath as she carefully lowers him to the ground. He's not conscious, and right now she doesn't want to find out why.

"You little..." A snarl from the demon turns her attention back to it. "How dare you disturb my meal." It begins shambling towards her with violent thuds. It's not fully paralyzed, but its face is half-melted and its movements are stiff and clumsy. Her poison _does _work on it. She just needs to give it a larger dose.

Shinobu re-coats her blade before leaping into the air, spinning to dodge the hands that hurtle towards her. She lands on one of the thick arms wrapped around its neck, right in front of its head.

_One, two, three, four. _Before it can blink, she pierces it four times on the face and arms before jumping back on the ground.

Shinobu watches with a dark surge of pleasure as webs of purple pulse out from the demon's wounds and her poison shoots through its veins. Blood begins leaking out of its eyes and its flesh begins rotting in layers. Before long, the demon's toppled over on its side, its dozens of limbs feebly twitching.

_I'm not supposed to kill it. The mission is to recapture the demons alive for the Final Selection, _she somehow manages to tell herself through the storm of fury that's buzzing inside her right now. But the temptation to inject the demon with her most lethal poison is overwhelming, and she's about to give in when a soft gasping sound snaps her out of her sinister stream of thoughts.

Shinobu makes her way to Giyu's side, and as she approaches him, her rage quickly evaporates into anxiety. He's startlingly still for someone who just made a gasping sound. He's completely unconscious, limply lying on the ground with his head slightly leaning towards one side.

Shinobu leans forward, straining her ears to pick up any sounds of breathing. Did she imagine the gasp coming out of him? If it really was her imagination, then he might be—

She sees people dressed in black bowing in front of a bed of white petals. She sees a white line of smoke trailing from an incense. She sees Kanae's face, framed in front of a shrine ornamented with candles and flowers.

The death of her sister is probably the most painful loss she'll ever experience, but the thought of Giyu dying makes her heart twist. He's not particularly close to her—_Is he close with any of the Pillars?_—but she knows that he can't die here. Not after seeing those moments of emotions rippling across him when he's normally so still and icy. Not when he has someone to come back alive to. Not when Shinobu's discovering more and more that he's just like her, fighting something from his past, yet still trying to move forward by burying his feelings and memories—

Giyu makes a small groaning noise, and Shinobu lets out a breath of relief.

_He's alive._

"Tomioka?" She wants to shake him awake, but she knows better than to touch him right now. "Tomioka, stay with me."

His brows twitch, and then his eyelids flutter open. His slowly blinks and hazily glances around. But before Shinobu can say anything, he tries to push himself up. His body trembles and he instantly collapses back on the ground with a soft grunt.

"Don't move," she says sharply. _You idiot, _she almost adds but decides better than to insult him right now. Judging from his injuries, even breathing should be painful for him.

Giyu's eyes are unfocused, and Shinobu isn't sure if he's even fully conscious. He stares blankly upwards for a few seconds before he takes in a deep breath and opens his mouth.

"Tomioka, _please _don't move," Shinobu hisses. His jaw clenches before he resigns to closing his mouth with a small groan.

_Did you just try to talk?_ Somehow, somewhere in her mind, she's able to crack a small wry smirk of amusement. _Why is that the first time you ever try to initiate a conversation, it's when you're half-dead?_ "I know I asked you to stay with me, but... I thought you were about to die."

Giyu's breathing gets softer as he closes his eyes.

"Yes, you should rest now," Shinobu says. "I'm just glad you're alive."

A soft, slow sigh leaves him as his breathing relaxes. Shinobu thinks she hears a murmur of "You are?" from his slightly parted lips, but then he goes still, save for the slight rise and fall of his chest.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Shinobu doesn't even realize it when the kakushi arrive. Her focus was completely on Giyu as she scrambled to stabilize him and treat whatever wounds she could in the moment, and it's only when she gets tapped on the shoulder that she's jolted back into awareness.

"Lady Kocho," one of the kakushi says. "Thank you. We will take it from here."

Shinobu nods as two of them lay out a stretcher beside Giyu. He doesn't stir as they carefully lift him up and carry him away. She can still see the very slight movement of his chest as he breathes, but otherwise, he's completely still.

Unmoving.

But the scene of Giyu facing the hand demon is still vivid in her mind. His broken, choked breathing, his shaking hands, and the agony that flashed across his face. Now that the battle's over, her fury and adrenaline has faded away, leaving her behind with nothing but a chilling uneasiness.

She turns her attention back to the hand demon. It's weakly twitching on the ground, still paralyzed, as the kakushi prepare their equipment to transport it back to Fujikasane Mountain. It was a lot larger than any of the other Final Selection demons, but it was slow and clumsy. It was nowhere near the power of even a Lower Moon. There's no possible way for Giyu to have been overcome by it under normal circumstances.

_Under normal circumstances._

A thousand different things could've happened between Giyu and the demon before she arrived. It's not in her place to try and figure out what. But the fact that it was able to shake him up so badly made her uneasy. How much of his past is still haunting him? How many unwanted memories and feelings are he constantly burying underneath his unmoving mask?

Shinobu knows what it's like to constantly hold back your own emotions for a facade. She knows how dangerous it can be. How horrible it can feel to finally reach the breaking point.

The uneasiness writhing inside her doesn't settle in the slightest.

As she rises to her feet, yellow and green flash from the corner of her vision. The left half of Giyu's haori that was torn off by the demon lies on the ground, its edges jagged and frayed. She walks over to the cloth and picks it up.

Shinobu glimpses the pale pink, green, and white of her haori sleeve from the corner of her vision, and for a moment, her breathing becomes strangled. She's mostly accepted Kanae's death, but grief can sometimes still hit her when she looks at her haori's colours. It's the only thing of her sister that she has left, after all.

She gently brushes away the dirt on the patterned cloth of Giyu's haori.

_ Maybe we have even more in common than I thought. _The thought comes with a twinge of both warmth and sadness.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Not only is Shinobu a Pillar, but she's also one of the only medical specialists within the high ranks of the Demon Slaying Corps. Which means that on a daily basis, there are more than enough tasks she must attend to in order to keep her busy for the entire day, ranging from slaying demons to treating patients.

But when she returns to the headquarters and her report to Master Oyakata reaches the incident that rendered Giyu unconscious, she can't stop the words that leave her mouth. "I can take care of him while he recovers."

Master Oyakata pauses, perhaps a bit surprised. In this moment, Shinobu freezes as well. She normally would never find a way to make herself even busier than she already is. But the broken sight of him before he got crushed felt like something so wrongly personal that she felt like it was her obligation—if anything—for her to do this after witnessing him like that.

"I'm the only one who saw the injury when it occurred," Shinobu says. "I know what his injuries are and where he's hurt the most. I think it'll be better for him this way."

"Of course." Master Oyakata smiles. "I will have him transported to the Butterfly Estate. He will be relieved from his duties until he has fully recovered."

**~.~.~.~.~**

When did it start?

Was it when she first felt those trembles of vulnerability break through his stillness on that mission all those weeks ago?

Shinobu doesn't try to think about it as she pulls a length of thread through the eye of a needle.

Was it when she realized that he reminded her of herself, a broken person constantly clinging to a mask to fight back the past?

She tries not to see dark red splatters on dirt or Kanae's fading smile as she arranges pieces of yellow-green cloth on her lap along with Giyu's haori. The candlelight flickers.

She holds the cloth together and begins connecting them at the edges.

In, out, in, out. The needle methodically works through the fabric and the only sound in the room is the rhythmic rasp of thread being pulled through cloth.

When she saw that mask shatter and all the pain spill out?

Shinobu finished performing surgery on Giyu two hours ago. A harrowing amount of his bones were either fractured or broken, and in addition to some major internal bleeding, one of his lungs was punctured as well. The surgery took half the day, and it was one of the most nerve wracking treatments she had to perform on a patient.

Fortunately, after the surgery, his condition stabilized. There shouldn't be any further complications, but Shinobu will still have to get up early tomorrow to check up on him.

So why is she sewing Giyu's ripped haori together right now when she should be getting rest?

_When did it start?_

Her attention can't help but drift to the seam of the haori that's holding the two halves—the red half and the patterned half—together. They're tightly connected, but she can see the messiness of the needlework as the thread along the line overlaps and sticks out at some parts. It definitely wasn't made like this. It's like someone quite literally cut two different haoris in half before hand-stitching them together.

When did she start feeling this way about him?

It's true that ever since she first met Giyu, she's been... curious about him. Every Pillar in the Corps is definitely unique in their own way, but for some reason, _he _particularly stood out to her.

Why was he so quiet and distant? Was there a reason why he constantly avoided spending time with the other Pillars? Why was his haori like that? What happened to his fashion sense?

Initially, her curiosity never really affected her. It simply manifested itself in the form of questionsthat flitted through her thoughts from time to time when she saw him. She never expected this curiosity to turn into interest, and then this interest to turn into this strange mixture of concern and understanding and...

And what?

_Attachment?_

Shinobu freezes halfway through pushing her needle through the cloth.

It doesn't sound right. It almost sounds like she's close with him. Like she has a personal connection with him that goes beyond just allies. But as she scours through the depths of her mind to find a more fitting word, she returns with nothing. "Attachment" doesn't sound right, yet it _feels _right.

What other word can explain this feeling that grew inside her every time she saw emotions leak through his unmoving mask? And whether the emotions came in ripples or waves or storms, she was always aware of a warm, sad twinge of connection—a silent feeling of _"you're like me" _and _"I'm not alone" _and _"I understand you."_

A few weeks ago she couldn't imagine cutting into her sleeping time to spend it on sewing. And sewing for _Giyu's _sake. Aloof, curt, distant, unlikeable Giyu. She's the busy, no-nonsense Insect Pillar and medical specialist in the Demon Slaying Corps. There is literally no practical reason why she would do this herself instead of just giving the task to one of her subordinates.

But it's like ever since she saw those first faint ripples shake the ocean surface on that mission weeks ago, she lost her control over her curiosity and could only let it swell until it became this massive mess of emotions she can't even bother to completely identify—concern, understanding, _attachment, _and whatever other emotion there can possibly be that also decided to pester her. Restoring his haori just feels like something too she's so personally connected to that she can't just let it go and throw the task on somebody else.

There's a possibility that she's deeply overthinking and jumping to false conclusions—conclusions that she _wishes _were true. Conclusions that would mean that there's someone else out there who's still dragged down by their past after all. That would make her feel a little bit less alone underneath her constant serene, smiling mask.

She glances at the white haori hanging on the wall to her right before turning back to stare at the ripped haori on her lap.

But if he's like her—if he also lost someone as important to him as Kanae was to her... then it would explain a lot of things. His odd, mismatched haori. His distance from all the other Pillars—from _everyone_. His unnaturally still exterior. The fact that he got so seriously injured by a Final Selection demon.

Losing someone changes a person in so many ways.

They might still see and hear pieces of the past that are long gone. They might begin keeping something with them that they'll never be able to live without again. They might desperately pull together a carefully crafted front in an attempt to protect themselves against the pressure of their grief.

Shinobu knows what it's like.

She softly hisses as the tip of her needle jabs her finger. A gleaming red pearl of blood buds out from her skin, and she wipes it off with her handkerchief. She watches as crimson taints white, her blood spreading across the pristine cloth like one of her poisons.

A small wry huff of laughter escapes her lips. Now she can say that she's literally bled for Giyu and his haori. Hopefully there's _some _truth to what she's been thinking about him. Otherwise, she's being _way _too nice.

She pauses and examines her work. She tried to ensure that the pieces were connected and sewn together as coherently and cleanly as possible, but it was rather difficult with how frayed the cloth was at the edges. She's just under a quarter way done. Fully finishing this will take at least three more nights.

With a small sigh, she stores the haori in her closet and puts away her sewing supplies. No matter how she feels about Giyu, she is _not _pulling an all-nighter for him.

**~.~.~.~.~**

Giyu remains unconscious for the next few days. Understandable, given his fragile condition and the intense surgery that was performed on him during his first night at the Butterfly Estate. He was placed in one of the private infirmary rooms that Shinobu reserves for high-priority patients.

Mercifully, Master Oyakata decided to give Shinobu a week of lessened duties to give her some relief while she treated Giyu. This partial respite has allowed her to frequently monitor Giyu, create proper medicine to aid his recovery, and spend a decent amount of time repairing his haori.

So for the past few days, Shinobu has fallen into a rhythm of waking early to check on Giyu, performing minor Pillar duties during the afternoon, and then returning to her estate in the evening to treat Giyu and continue repairing his haori.

It probably shouldn't have been a surprise, but Giyu is so frighteningly still when he's unconscious that Shinobu alarmingly thought he died overnight more than once when doing her routine morning check-up. But contrary to his stillness, his recovery has been going very smoothly so far. Every check-up she's performed following the surgery has shown consistent signs of healing.

Oftentimes, Shinobu finds herself sitting by his bedside for no explainable reason after going through the routine check-up. Maybe it's because some part of her is still in awe at how deathly still he can be. Maybe it's because she hasn't been able to shake off the sight of his last moments before getting injured—the agony and fear and whatever else he was feeling at that moment. The emotions that seemed to manifest itself in every part of his being, from his pained expression to his trembling hands to his legs that seemed to be weighted down to the ground. Maybe it's because a big part of her wishes that she could tell him every thought about him that's been swirling inside of her for the past few weeks. To finally spill out her own past to someone after locking it inside herself for so long. To find out a bit about _his _past—something to explain his constant calm, possibly something for her to anchor all her constant suppressed anger and sorrow and bitterness to, something to help her feel less alone. And also maybe to brag a bit about how she's repairing his haori.

But she's unable to do anything, because Giyu remains still and silent like always, and so she always ends up leaving after she realizes she's been staring at him for too long.

On the fourth night of Giyu's stay at the Butterfly Estate, Shinobu finishes repairing his haori. As she holds it up to examine it, small sparks of pride jump inside her. She doesn't remember the last time she's sewn, but based on the neat, tight work of the threads that connect the cloth, it seems like her skills haven't dulled. She even redid some of the sewing on the middle seam of his haori, and now the two halves are connected cleaner and more securely than ever.

Shinobu hangs it up beside her own haori's spot on the wall. Deep red and bold yellow and green stand out starkly against gentle white and pastel green and pink. The two haoris are vastly different appearance-wise, but she can't help but feel like they have similar histories.

Or hope.

With a shake of her head, Shinobu lets out a sigh. Maybe she's being a bit too selfish again. She shouldn't be hoping that somebody else has the same history as she does.

"_I just... get reminded of the past."_

That's what Giyu said when Shinobu asked him about Master Urokodaki. Back then, that short, quiet answer was enough for her. _More _than enough, actually, to satisfy the ember of interest that ignited in her at that time.

Why did this ember have to grow into such a greedy, ravenous flame?

Shinobu looks away from the two haoris and turns back to her working area. She cleans up scraps of thread and collects her sewing supplies. She places her sewing kit in the bottom drawer of her closet, wondering with a twinge of ruefulness when the next time it'll see light will be.

**~.~.~.~.~**

The next morning, Shinobu wakes up earlier than usual. She tries to fall back asleep, but it seems like her body has other plans. With a small sigh of resignation, she gets out of bed and prepares for the morning.

As she gets dressed, she pauses as she reaches for her haori. Giyu's newly-repaired haori hangs beside her own, and in the morning sunlight, it looks like it's in better shape than it was before it got torn. God, the amount of effort she spent on sewing it is starting to feel a bit embarrassing...

But after she wears her haori, she also grabs Giyu's before exiting her room. Since she's finished repairing it, she can put it in his room along with his other belongings. As she walks towards Giyu's room, she folds his haori into a neat rectangle. She spent so much effort on restoring it, so she might as well be a bit excessive with its presentation, too.

Quietly, she enters the room and closes the door behind her. She walks to the shelf beside his bed and places his haori on the ledge beside his Demon Slayer Corps uniform. Then she makes her way over to Giyu's bed, keeping her footsteps soft.

_Wow._

It seems like he moved during the night. His entire body's slightly turned to the left and his face is tilted to the side instead of facing straight upwards like it usually is. That's a good sign.

Maybe it's the fact that she got less sleep than usual last night, or maybe it's the soft hue of the early morning light, but he looks different somehow. She slightly leans over him and her gaze lingers on his face for longer than she thinks is reasonable.

There's a few strands of hair swept over his face, probably from when he shifted in the night, and she finds her fingers drifting to the side of his face to push them out of the way. His skin is smooth and cool and surprisingly soft, and some part of her doesn't want to finish the task of brushing his hair away.

But she doesn't have to, because then his cheek twitches and she instantly pulls back her hand with a sharp inhale.

_Did he just...?_

A few silent seconds pass as she stares at him, and it feels like her entire body's shaking along with the heavy thuds of her heartbeat. She stares at him with her hand clutched to her chest, waiting for him to open his eyes or make a sound.

But none of that happens, and she quickly surrenders herself to the weight of disappointment inside her that's growing with each passing moment before it can get too heavy. She lets out a small sigh and drops her hand—

—just as Giyu lets out a soft groan and his eyelids flutter open.

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**A/N:**

I wasn't planning to make the story this long, but that plan failed LOL

Sorry for the wait! I've been super busy lately. I'm actually going to be pretty busy for the rest of the month, so you probably shouldn't expect another update until at least February...

I want to thank everyone who made left kind comments/reviews! They really are a huge source of motivation for me, so I'm really grateful!

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

Giyu sees yellow-green cloth being ripped apart.

He sees Sabito. He sees the warmth of his smile and the spark in his eyes.

He sees fabric stretching, threads snapping, fibres being torn into nothingness.

He sees Sabito's back shrink into the distance, melting into black, disappearing into nothingness.

_I'm so sorry, _he wants to say to the darkness that glares at him. _It should've been me. I know. _But he can't breath. He's drowning. He's drowning in an ocean, an ice-cold void with an emptiness suffocates him.

It feels like both an eternity and an instant as he floats aimlessly inside the darkness, before it finally begins to recede. Slowly, gradually, he's able to move again, to breathe again, and finally, when a rush of warmth brushes against his face, he opens his eyes.

The light that rushes in to fill his vision is blinding. Instinctively, he tries to raise a hand to cover his eyes, but his body feels like it's made of lead and he can only manage a feeble twitch of his arm.

"Tomioka?"

That voice again.

Giyu lets out a small groan and blinks rapidly, trying to dispel the bleariness that still clings to him. The blinding white is beginning to fade into blurry shapes and colours. Black and purple sit at the edge of his vision.

"Are you feeling fine?"

That light, honey-like voice. He _knows _it.

"Tomioka?"

"_Tomioka!" A voice yells his name, and he glimpses a flash of white and black and purple from the corner of his vision._

Shinobu.

It belongs to Shinobu.

Shinobu Kocho, the one with whom he got assigned on that mission with.

_Incacipitate and retrieve the escaped Final Selection demons._

Final Selection.

_Final Selection._

_He's in the Final Selection again, crying and begging Sabito not to leave him. _

"_It belonged to that little fox boy I ate from quite a long time ago."_

Giyu takes in a sharp inhale and shoves himself upright. His body screams against his orders and sends sharp bolts of pain shooting through him in protest, but any urge to flinch that might've made him relent is an ember drowned out by the flood of urgency in him.

"Tomioka."

He blinks again and the world finally fades into clarity, and Giyu realizes that Shinobu is standing beside him.

"How are you feeling?" she asks.

_How am I feeling? _

He blinks, confused, but then the memory of an agony wracking his body surfaces in his mind.

Right. He was injured by that hand demon.

"I'm..." Giyu's surprised by how scratchy his throat feels. He tries to push down the shame burning inside him. "I'm fine."

She blinks at him. "You're fine?" He's suddenly noticing how her eyebrows are furrowed and how her mouth is a tight, thin line, and how she looks quite... tired.

_Oh. _She's been the one taking care of him this entire time.

"Well..." He can already feel the guilt beginning to claw at him. _Once again, I've troubled someone with my own weakness. _"It hurts in some places."

She takes a step forward. "Show me where."

The room is silent as Giyu points out the painful areas of his body while Shinobu examines them. And as silent seconds stretch into silent minutes, Giyu can't help but try and glance at Shinobu from the corner of his vision. By now, she should've jabbed at him with _some _sort of insult or remark—not that he wants her to, though—but instead, she's been silent the entire time. Had she actually been that worried for him?

After a few more moments, Giyu looks away from her, and that's when he notices how he's wearing the white patient uniform belonging to Shinobu's medical clinic.

Well, of course he is. This makes sense. He's literally her patient. Plus, his actual Demon Slaying Corps uniform was, at best, stained with blood. At worst, torn into ragged shreds—

Just like his haori.

His hand clenches into a fist, fingernails digging into his palm. He tries his best to remain still, but he must've stiffened, because then Shinobu pauses in the middle of examining his arm.

"Sorry," Giyu murmurs. He lets out a slow breath, forcing his hand to loosen.

"It's fine." Shinobu resumes the examination, and silence fills the room once again. But this time, it feels wrong, and there's something that feels like uneasiness writhing inside him.

Then, Giyu says, "I should leave." The words leave his mouth a heartbeat before he realizes that he wants to say them. "I should leave the Pillars."

Shinobu freezes and turns to face him again. "What?"

"I—" Giyu swallows, a part of him reeling at the fact that he just voiced out one of the thoughts that have been endlessly swirling in his head for as long as he can remember. But the rest of him feels the throb of pain from his injuries, and trying to stop himself now feels like trying to resist the pressure of a cracked dam. "I was injured by a demon from the Final Selection. I'm weak. I'm unfit to be a Pillar."

"There was clearly something wrong during that fight." Shinobu's eyes flash with an emotion that he can't identify. Anger? Dismay? _Concern? _"You weren't yourself, and you know it."

_So she saw me. _Another burst of shame scorches him, followed by a wave of nausea. "That doesn't matter," he chokes out.

"Yes, it does," she snaps. "Under normal circumstances, you would've been able to defeat it without issues."

"_No, I wouldn't!" _Giyu takes in a sharp, trembling inhale, surprised that his voice has risen to nearly a shout. But it's also become shakier. Shakier, frailer, weaker, _weak, weak, weak. _"I'm not like you guys. I wasn't able to defeat a single demon in the Final Selection. I hid. I hid and ran away. I'm a coward."

Shinobu's gaze is hard as she stares at him, but there's something flickering beneath her eyes that he can't recognize.

"I don't deserve to be a Pillar," Giyu hisses. "I couldn't do anything back then, and I can't do anything now."

_A jagged piece of cloth spirals to the ground. "It's been so long, but nothing changes." _

"It's been so long, but nothing has changed." He's starting to realize just how hard his breathing has become and just how strangled his voice sounds. "It's my fault for all of this. It's my fault you had to take care of me. It's my fault for being so weak. It's my fault for letting Sabito die."

And then he realizes that his vision has blurred.

He wipes at his eyes with his sleeve before his tears can escape. One of them slides down his cheek and drops onto the bed sheet anyway. He stares down at his lap, at the darkened spot where his tear landed. The only sound in the room is his own breathing, which comes out as soft, ragged pants.

Then, Shinobu says softly, "Did something happen?"

His head shoots up to look at her.

"_Did something happen?"_

She could be asking about a hundred different things. But she's asked him this same question before, uttered the exact same words, and the meaning behind what she says is too clear to him.

And this time, he responds, quietly, "I had a friend."

"A friend."

"Sabito."

She blinks. "I see."

"We trained and went into the Final Selection together. But he died saving the other participants while I was passed out the entire time. Only I lived. He—He was killed by that hand demon."

Shinobu remains silent, but her gaze fills with understanding.

"Sabito should've been the Water Pillar. He was so much stronger than I was, and he would've been so much stronger than I am now." Giyu takes in a deep breath. His breathing has steadied, but he can still feel a tightness in his throat. "I'm weak, and I don't deserve to be a Pillar. I'm not like you guys."

"Not like us?" Shinobu tilts her head to the side. And then she smiles. It's not the teasing smirk she usually wears. It's tender and sorrowful, and Giyu's seized by something both warm and painful at once. "I had a sister."

"A sister..."

"The former Flower Pillar."

He blinks.

"She was stronger than I ever was, and I looked up to her a lot," Shinobu says, her voice uncharacteristically gentle. It's a strange thing to witness, but at the same time, it gives him a feeling of comfort that he can't quite describe. "She died to an Upper Moon demon, and even though I've made it my goal to avenge her... It's hard."

"What's hard?" he says.

"_Everything. _Acting like things are okay. Smiling. Feeling competent enough to accomplish anything."

As Giyu listens to her words, something inside him begins to unravel.

"And it's even harder for me to try to continue holding up the mask that I constantly force myself to wear," she says. "But there's nothing else I can do. It's the only thing that can keep my emotions at bay—to keep my past from completely dragging me down."

"Kocho, you're..." The words he wants to say are slipping through his mind like falling water. All he can grasp is this strange warm feeling of _familiarity _that's throbbing inside him.

"You're the same," he finally says. "The same as me."

_Same. She's the same as me. _The thought comes to him as both a worry and a comfort.

Shinobu pauses at that, gazing at him with an unknown emotion etched on her face. Then she lets out a laugh.

"Don't lump me together with you like that, Tomioka," she says. "That's quite a presumptuous thing of you to do." But she's smiling, and he thinks he can see a glimmer in her eyes. "In terms of likeability, you still have an impossibly large gap to close."

_Oh, her insults are back. _Giyu doesn't know whether to feel annoyed or relieved.

"And in terms of fashion sense, as well." She lets out a sigh. "So you're not nearly there yet, but I suppose this _is _a start."

He can't help but slightly deflate. "I... guess."

"Oh. Speaking of fashion sense." Shinobu makes her way over to a shelf beside her. "I'm assuming that you remember that your haori was torn in that battle."

_My haori. _Giyu nods slowly. He _does _remember it—the fabric tearing, the pieces falling, the pattern getting sullied by the dirt—and he remembers it a bit too well.

"But," she continues, "fortunately for you, I'm quite the skilled seamstress." And then she lifts something off the shelf before letting it fall open in front of her and reveal familiar hues of deep red and yellow-green.

_Completely intact._

"Kocho, you..."

"Yes, Tomioka, it _was _me who did this. You might not want to believe it, but I have more talents than you might think."

When she hands it to him, he realizes his hands are shaking as he holds it out in front of him. He stares at the all-too-familiar yellow-green pattern, _Sabito's pattern, _whole and complete and binded to his own deep red cloth so tightly. So _seamlessly, _even though he was the one who allowed it to get ripped apart by that demon and trashed on the ground like that in the first place.

"Why?" He looks up to stare at her. "Why would you do this?"

Shinobu blinks at him, and Giyu notices with a bolt of surprise that she seems to have no answer for that question

"Well," she slowly says after a moment, "_my _haori is a memento of my sister. It's the only thing I have left of her—the only thing I have left to keep her spirit alive." One of her hands drift to her haori sleeve, and her fingers fiddle with its black patterned edge as a smile flickers across her face. "And like you said, we're the same, aren't we?"

"Well... We _are _the same, I think."

"Which means that there must be some things you keep with yourself that mean more to you than anybody might think."

And then he sees himself, bandaged and bruised but clutching the bloodied remains of Sabito's clothes like it was the only thing keeping him alive. He sees himself carefully attaching the yellow-green cloth to his own dark red haori with trembling hands and through sniffs and sobs.

"Thank you," Giyu says.

There's a beat of silence, and Shinobu blinks at him.

"For fixing my haori," he adds. "Thank you."

"_Oh._ Oh my." She raises a hand to her mouth in mock surprise, but through her fingers, Giyu can see a smile on her lips. "I never thought you had the manners to even thank me. You surprise me sometimes, Tomioka."

"You shouldn't be surprised." Strangely, a response comes to him immediately, faster and smoother than one has ever come to him before. "We're the same, after all."

Shinobu's eyes widen a bit. "Ah. Of course." She shrugs with a grin. "But even though I did quite the excellent job fixing your haori, I _do _find it quite a shame that I can probably never fix your appalling fashion sense."

"But you admitted that we're the same." Giyu vaguely registers the feeling of something new yet warm bubbling up inside him, as well as an invisible force tugging at the edges of his lips. He gives in and lets his mouth quirk upwards into a slight smile as he adds, "Which means that your fashion sense is just as appalling, Kocho."

Shinobu stares at him as if he has just transformed into a demon. Then she leans away, a hand clasped over her own mouth as her entire body trembles with fits of restrained laughter.

"Well, that was... rather unexpected." Her last two words are shaky with laughter. She takes a deep breath, then gazes at him with her signature serene smile, although amusement still dances in her eyes. "But yes, I like to think that maybe we're more similar than we appear to be, Tomioka."

Giyu glances down at his haori once more, and feels a bittersweet twinge as Sabito's face flickers through his mind. It's accompanied by the memory of sleepless nights of sobs and the cold, empty ache of guilt. Then he turns to face Shinobu.

_We're the same._

Maybe it's the fact that this is probably the first time he's been fully conscious in a long while, or maybe it's the soft hue of the early morning light, but she looks different somehow. His gaze lingers on her face for longer than he thinks is reasonable.

And then Giyu smiles—a full, content one this time—as he feels something stir inside him. Something that feels like ripples flickering across the surface of an ice-cold, deathly silent ocean for the first time in a lonely eternity.

_**~end~**_

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**A/N:**

AHHHHHH IT'S DONE.

Oh man I am so sorry for the wait, especially when I said in my previous A/N that it'll update uhh sometime around February. I kind of lost the motivation for it, and then I happened to get invested in another fandom at the same time, and so that just led to me not having the drive to work on this for... quite a long stretch of time.

BUT! Re-reading everybody's kind words for this fic actually played a big part in motivating me to finish this, so I'd like to give a big thank you to everyone who left reviews and likes! 3

It's been a while and I'm once again sorry for the wait, but I hope you enjoy the conclusion to this fic nonetheless! Thank you so much for reading-and especially to anybody who stuck around and waited this long!


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